It is obvious that many people have a problem with this commandment because parents all to often are messed up and the children are not greater than the parents DNA. There are parents that look like they favor other children before their own child. Or they favor one child's sex over the other sex. But this isn't what this study is about. This study is about finding the truth in this verse.
The first obstacle in understanding this verse is the Word Honor. The thought of honoring a parent that was cruel is frightening to the child older than innocence. When they are an adult, they still struggle for freedom after the parent is dead. It's like how do you honor a dead narcissistic parent that all they did was crush your Spirit?
Honor is spelled QBD (kaf, bet, dallet) in Hebrew. Kaf represents a palm of a hand. Bet is house and dallet is door. Dallet can also represent an opportunity for something. Placing the three symbols together you have sharing in the house of opportunities. Then the question becomes, how do you share opportunities with a tyrant parent or a spoiled nasty child? Yes it works both ways.
If you ask Google about bad parents, you will be get this. I quote,
- Stop trying to please them. ...
- Set and enforce boundaries. ...
- Don't try to change them. ...
- Be mindful of what you share with them. ...
- Know your parents' limitations and work around them — but only if you want to. ...
- Have an exit strategy. ...
- Don't try to reason with them.
Did you get a feeling of placing self first on those seven instructions? There was no honor also.
Trying to please people who cannot respect your gift of being charitable, you need a new tactic. You need Spiritual Armor including the offensive weapon of Yahuah's Word. Yahusha is an opportunity of peace in the relationship.
Boundaries is building a wall. You know the person will not respect that boundary or they will cast you out of the family all together. Not trying to change them can go against what Yahuah Elohiym is saying to you. But you must realize that you never had the power to change them in the first place. This is why you must have the Word of Yahuah Elohiym with you.
I agree that we need to be mindful of what we say. Also we must be a Spiritual Dietitian. We must be mindful of how much a parent can handle and what will help. You must realize that you probably don't know your parent because of the trauma involved on both sides in their past and your's.
A child's exit strategy is just make your parent believe you complied and then hate their guts for it. An adult child will just drive away then hold on to anger afterwards. This becomes a prison because of the walls set in place. The question becomes choosing what to exit. Exit the pain of the past instead of abandoning the parent.
The word reason is to say justification or explanation. Saying something that is horribly wrong, pretending it to be right or reasonable is reasonable. A parent should repent of their wrong doing even if it sends them to prison. You need another tactic when speaking to the unreasonable. You must understand that everything you say to the unreasonable parent is just noice if there is no compassion in you. To be free of hate, you must have compassion. To be free of being used you must be a Spiritual Warrior. A bad parents ideology is spiritual wickedness. The question is, how do you become a compassionate Spiritual Warrior?
One warning is that there are danger in anger.
Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,27 and do not give the devil an opportunity. Ephesians 4:26-27
This verse opens up clearer vision. Honoring your parents gives you and your parents opportunities. Don't let the rebellious Reptilian Satan have one opportunity in your life or a parent.
He who is slow to anger has great discernment, But he who is quick‑tempered raises up folly. Proverbs 14:29
Being quick tempered with a parent, you know you will say something stupid leading to a big blowout. This is why you need perception in the heat of conflict. It is applying wisdom to make wise decisions while giving resistance to anger.
Cease from anger and forsake wrath;
Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing. Psalm 37:8
Opportunities can reduce stress and anxiety, foster hope and optimism, improve overall well-being, and provide coping mechanisms for difficult times.
